Friday, August 12, 2011

Accidental Outing- My Mom

I hope this is the last of these emotional coming out post's I have.  So, today I came out to my mom.  I knew that my dad was planning on telling her this morning but I didn't know exactly when.  So, around lunch I called my brother to see if he had heard anything.  He told me that was over baby sitting my nephews as my sister-in-law was doing some school registrations.  He said that my mom had talked to my sister-in-law and that she was taking it rough (crying).  However, my brother did point out that in their eight years of marriage that his wife has only cried twice that he has witnessed so it was hard to compare what my sister-in-law thought was rough and what might be rough for my mom. 

So, my brother asked if I had heard from my parents and I said no.  He told me he was going to stop by after work and see how they were doing and asked if I wanted to come.  I told them that I was willing to go if she was ready to have me and talk with me.  He said he would make some calls and get back to me.  I had mentioned earlier to my dad that I could come over for dinner on Sunday and we could talk then.  Anyway, about ten minutes later my brother called back and said my mom was doing OK given the circumstances and that I should come over after work.  So I did.

I was sobbing the minute I left work through the minute I walked into the door out their place and beyond.   we hugged for several minutes.   We then went into the living room where my brother and dad were sitting.  It was kind of strange in that my brother kind of mediated the session in that he got the conversation going.  Anyway, I told my mom I was gay, kind of gave a quick back ground of where I was, where I had come from, discussed my health, and then and in essence bore her testimony about how she thought I would gain happiness by following the gospel.  I was fine listening to what she had to say.  I honestly kind of expected it.  I knew she would say it to me and in all honestly wanted her to say it so that in her Mormon world, she could have a clear conscious that she did what she was supposed to do....ensure she had taught her children of what she believes the true plan of happiness is.  My dad's approach is so much different.  His is more of an approach that if I do what is right, it will all work out in the end.  My mom's is very literal.   Do this, do that, do this and you will be happy, else you will not.  I do not buy into her line of thinking but it's not worth fighting over.

I cried during most of the discussion.  I know I keep repeating it, but this really is not standard behavior on my part.   I don't know how people can cry all the time  My eye's hurt, my sinus's hurt, and it has given me a head ache, lol.    Back on point.  Well all went to dinner for some purple turtle in Pleasant Grove.   Their fish and chips are DELICIOUS.  We then went and peaked in the windows of my recently deceased Grandmothers house.  It was just purchased and the new owners are re-doing it and it looks like it's going to be very nice when completed.  I'm really glad.  I have such happy memories there.  My grandma's birthday was just two days away from mine so she always made me feel extra special around my birthday.  I love and miss her.

Well, I think I'm going to go soak in a warm bath and ponder the last week I've had.  I really can't believe how lucky I am to have my family who has stated over and over throughout the week that thier love is nothing but unconditional and that we will work through things as hey come up but no matter what we are family and that's what's important.    So good.  So Relieving for the soul. I really hope that those who have not had such good experiences are able to find comfort some how/some where.  We all deserve it.  

Well, I guess that its' for tonight.  What a week.  Out to my siblines on tuesday, Out to my dad on Wednesday, and Out to my mom on Friday.  It's done and if gives me soo much hope in my life to be something more now.  I can't wait for what the future holds.  Where as just a week ago I dreaded the fact there was going to be a tomorrow.  Crazy how one sequence of events can change the out look on life.  Hope your all doing well.  Regards and please stay in touch.  i will try to catch up with private messages tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Very touching story... All the more reason that I don't "facebook". :)

    I sincerely hope that all works out well for you and your family. You and they seem to be handling it well with unconditional love... something I'm grasping the reality of right now.